As parents, it’s easy to blame our children when they seem distant or unkind to us. But the truth is, children are innocent; they reflect what they learn from us.
They mirror our lives. If your kids struggle to show love or seem disconnected from you, other relatives, or loved ones, take a moment to reflect—perhaps the root lies in how love and relationships were modelled or neglected in their early years by you, their parents, who are their first role models.
Some of our parents live a life of “me” and “my wife” alone, and children in such homes might develop the belief that they don’t need to nurture bonds with people or relatives, which can affect sibling relationships and, later in life, impact their connection with their parents.
Many of us grew up in households where relationships outside the immediate family weren’t prioritised. We hear about relatives through stories; our parents never visited any, or perhaps they did not as well, but only occasionally. Some only interacted with their parents or a small circle, went to church, worked, and focused on personal goals. If that was your experience, your children might inherit the same mindset, viewing love and kindness as optional or distant concepts.
The sad truth is, children learn more from what they see than from what they’re told. If they grow up in an environment where family bonds are weak or absent, they might believe those connections aren’t important.
In most cases, what we teach them about outsiders, they practice on us; they may not understand how love, kindness, and relationships nourish the soul and build lasting happiness.
But here lies hope—today is a new day. Your mother and father may have made mistakes with you, but don’t repeat them with your children. Be intentional about teaching them how to love and to love everyone. Love shouldn’t be selective, especially in relationships.
You have the power to teach your children that relationships matter. Show them through your actions. Reach out to relatives, create moments of kindness, and encourage sibling bonds. Explain that sharing love and caring for others isn’t just for special occasions—it’s the fabric of a meaningful life.
Because if they grow up without appreciating these bonds, they might find themselves lonely, disconnected, or even distant from you and their siblings. The loneliness we see in adults often begins with what we fail to nurture early on. “You can see how often children abandon their parents in today’s world.”
So today, choose to be intentional. Teach your children that love is an active choice—one that requires effort, patience, and kindness. Help them understand that building strong relationships isn’t just about family gatherings; it’s about planting seeds of love that will flourish throughout a lifetime.
The future of their happiness and the strength of your family depend on the love and connection you cultivate today.
Remember, if you don’t relate well with your relatives now, your children may grow up not relating well with their siblings tomorrow. When we neglect to teach children how to love genuinely, how to build healthy relationships, and how to communicate with empathy, we risk sowing seeds of disconnection and misunderstanding. Over time, this can weaken the fabric of family and society, leading to isolation, intolerance, and broken communities and society as we have in our society today. it all starts from homes.
Let’s start the healthy change today
