In a candid interview, Maje Ayida, ex-husband of Toke Makinwa, shares his journey of overcoming depression, shame, and paranoia following their very public breakup.

He reveals that the divorce deeply affected him, leading to a period of depression and self-isolation. “I’ll be honest, going through a divorce that was so widely covered in the media made me feel very alone,” Maje admits. “I withdrew from society, feeling ashamed of my situation. It wasn’t just about me; my self-esteem was affected because, as someone who values legacy, I was ashamed of what I felt I had done to my family’s name. So, I went into hiding.”

Maje also confesses to experiencing paranoia: “The few times I did go out, I would create scenarios in my mind, thinking everyone was talking about me, looking at me. That’s what pushed me back into my shell. The feeling of hopelessness and the mental noise—even in silence—was overwhelming.”

However, he shares that he made a conscious decision to change his trajectory. “I decided I didn’t want to remain in that space. I started researching ways to deal with what I was going through. The most important step was taking accountability. I owned my part in everything. At first, it made me feel worse, but gradually, I began taking practical steps toward healing.”

Ayida and Makinwa began dating around 2006 and got married on January 15, 2014, after eight years together.

Their marriage, however, collapsed in 2015 when it was revealed that Ayida had impregnated his ex-girlfriend. The scandal sparked widespread public reaction and placed their relationship under intense scrutiny.

Toke Makinwa later filed for divorce, citing cruelty and emotional distress. On October 5, 2017, the Lagos High Court dissolved the union on the grounds of adultery committed by Ayida.

In 2016, Makinwa released her memoir On Becoming, in which she detailed the pain of the betrayal and the emotional toll of the failed marriage. In response, Ayida sued her for N100 million for defamation, alleging that the book contained damaging falsehoods. His legal team also demanded the removal of the allegedly defamatory content, a request that was ignored.

In November 2020, a Lagos High Court ruled in Ayida’s favour, awarding N500,000 in damages to be paid by the first and second defendants to a charity of his choosing. The court also barred further publication of the book containing the defamatory content.

For a full look at his inspiring journey, watch the video in the comments.

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