There is a quiet damage spreading through our society—one that does not make headlines every day, yet breaks homes, distorts values, and leaves deep emotional wounds. It is the normalisation of hypocrisy, the quiet acceptance of lies, and the dangerous comfort we find in pretending that wrong is right—depending on who commits it.

We have built a culture where truth is negotiable, where accountability is selective, and where empathy is rationed based on gender.

At the centre of this conversation is a statement many have heard, repeated so often it has become doctrine: “Men are polygamous in nature.” It sounds harmless, even cultural—but in reality, it has become one of the most convenient excuses for emotional irresponsibility and betrayal.

The Dangerous Normal We Have Accepted

In many homes, a married man’s infidelity is dismissed with a shrug. Society often responds not with outrage, but with interrogation—directed at the woman:

“What did you do wrong?”  That made him cheat 
“Why couldn’t you keep your man?”

“Is in his nature to cheat “

In those moments, the betrayal is not just from the partner—it is reinforced by a society that shifts blame onto the victim, then encourages more men to cheat. The man is excused. The woman is examined.

Yet, when the roles are reversed, the tone changes instantly. The same society that tolerated dishonesty and betrayals becomes harsh, judgmental, and unforgiving. Suddenly, morality becomes strict. Suddenly, values matter.

That contradiction is not just unfair—it is destructive.

A Story That Mirrors a Bigger Problem

Public narratives often reflect private realities. The story involving Frank Edoho and his former marriage has been widely discussed, not just because of who he is, but because of what it represents.

A marriage of years reportedly ended under circumstances that included claims of infidelity and shifting standards. His former wife, Cathrine, was described as supportive, present, and invested in the family. Yet, when success came his way, the narrative changed—questions of class, compatibility, and personal choices surfaced, and he walked away with the same social media buhaha; he brought it online, and Cathrin kept quiet.

Then came another chapter. Another relationship with Sandra. Another breakdown of keeping malice with his second wife for years, he said,

And when his ex-wife Sandra eventually found peace elsewhere, reportedly with Chike, public reaction erupted—not necessarily because of the facts, but because of who made the move.The woman

The same society that had rationalised a man’s actions suddenly found its voice when a woman chose differently.

That is the hypocrisy we must confront.

The Emotional Cost We Ignore

Behind every headline, every gossip thread, every “trending story,” there are human beings. People with emotions, dignity, and the need to be respected.

Marriage is not just a social contract—it is an emotional commitment. Betrayal, regardless of who commits it, has consequences: broken trust, damaged self-worth, and long-term psychological effects.

When we normalise one person’s wrongdoing and condemn another’s for the same act, we create an imbalance that poisons relationships. It teaches men that accountability is optional. It teaches women that endurance is expected.

Neither is healthy. Neither builds a stable society.

If It Is Wrong, Then It Is Wrong

This is where honesty must replace convenience.

If cheating is wrong, then it is wrong—whether done by a man or a woman.
If betrayal is painful, then it is painful—regardless of gender.
If respect is important, then it must be mutual for both man and woman —not conditional.

We cannot continue to justify harmful behaviour on one side and condemn it on the other. That is not culture. That is not tradition. That is selective morality.

And selective morality destroys trust.

Rebuilding What We Are Losing

If we truly want stronger homes and a healthier society, we must start with consistency:

• Hold individuals accountable, not genders.
• Stop romanticising irresponsibility for both men and women.
• Recognise that emotional pain is universal.
• Teach respect as a standard, not a privilege.

The truth is simple, even if uncomfortable:
We cannot fix society while defending the very behaviours that are breaking it.

A society that excuses wrongdoing based on who commits it will eventually lose its moral compass entirely.

It is time to stop pretending., Time to stop excusing., Time to stop shifting blame.

Because if we don’t stop now, many women will join this race and it will destroy our marriage institution.