Marriages, the sacred union built on love, trust, and mutual respect, are in peril—but the root cause often points to one primary factor: the attitude and behaviour of men.

In most cases, it’s not women who are tearing these unions apart, but men’s inability to understand and embody true leadership, responsibility, and partnership.

The truth is simple yet profound: marriages will thrive only when men start behaving properly. Responsibility is not a burden to be shunned; it’s the foundation of genuine leadership. You cannot be irresponsible—mark my words—and expect your partner to bear the weight of the home alone by being responsible. You are not offering.

. Leadership in marriage is not about dominance or control but about setting a positive example.

Many men claim to be leaders, but sadly, few truly understand what leadership entails. Leadership is about modelling the qualities you wish to see in your partner. If you want your wife to be truthful, sincere, kind, peaceful, and faithful, then you must embody these virtues yourself. Actions speak louder than words, and your behaviour sets the tone for the entire relationship.

Yet, what do we see instead? Many so-called “husbands” and “leaders” in their homes often model lies, deceit, cheating, and disrespect. They expect their wives to uphold high moral standards while they indulge in negative behaviours.

This inconsistency is the root of much marital discord. Do you see where the problem begins in our marriages?

The reality is that only a few men lead rightly, and the majority are struggling as husbands. This imbalance is why many marriages are falling apart. It’s important to acknowledge that not all women are innocent or blameless—some issues stem from misunderstandings, lack of communication, or mutual faults. However, most of the problems originate from men’s mindset and actions.

The mindset is crucial. Many men operate under the false belief: “I am a man, and I can do anything,” without respecting their partners or understanding that marriage is a partnership—an equal union of two individuals committed to shared growth and support. Remember, your wife is not your servant or subordinate; she is your partner in life.

Marriage is about collaboration. It’s sharing ideas, discussing plans, negotiating differences, and building a future together. Celebrate each other’s strengths, mourn each other’s losses, and work together to create a home filled with love, respect, and understanding.

Contrary to some traditional views, marriage should never be about one person giving commands, controlling and expecting obedience while the other simply follows. It’s not a master-servant relationship; it’s a union of equals. Respect and regard are paramount.

If you start each day with this mindset—treating your wife with dignity, respect and kindness—your marriage has a far better chance of flourishing.

Open communication is essential. Be willing to talk, listen, and understand your partner’s perspective. Transparency and honesty foster trust and deepen the bond you share.

—Marriages are in crisis, and it takes effort from both sides to fix them. But the onus starts with men. The culture of irresponsibility, entitlement, and disrespect must end.

Let’s be clear: men must lead with integrity, respect, and humility. When a man genuinely models these qualities, his wife will naturally follow suit. The transformation begins with your mindset, your attitude, and your actions.

To all the men out there—start today. Reflect on your role, examine your behaviour, and make a conscious choice to become a better partner. Respect your wife, communicate openly, and build a marriage based on mutual understanding and love and respect, because respect is both-ways.

Because when men take responsibility, when they lead rightly, marriages can be restored, strengthened, and thrive like never before.

I don’t write to be liked; I write to solve problems and to help save marriages because I believe in the institution of marriage. Change begins with us, and it’s never too late.I write not to seek popularity but to address a pressing problem.

Beady.